TIPS FOR RESOLVING ANGER AND CONFLICT

We write, produce and present a variety of courses and one of more popular seminars is the one on anger and  conflict resolution courses and here are some tips for managing anger from our course.

Short-term solutions

             Admit that you are angry. If you bottle up your angry feelings, they will not go away, and they will keep coming out over and over again, painfully.

             Try not to over-react. Step back from the situation that is making you angry and ask yourself, "What would I think of someone else if I saw him/her getting angry in this situation?" or

"Is this situation really as bad as I am making it out to be?"

             Try to make you think about something else. Turn your attention to some pleasant memory rather than the line-up, traffic jam or whatever is irritating you.

             Identify the source of your anger. If the actions or words of another person are hurting you, try to you deal with him/her directly in a peaceful and productive way.

             Listen carefully to what others are saying to you, and let them finish without interruption. Very often, you will not understand the real message if you "jump in" after a few words. Give people a chance to explain themselves.

Long-term solutions

If your anger is caused by something beyond your control, such as a job lay-off, find out how others have dealt with the problem successfully, and try to follow their lead.

             Avoid blaming yourself, even if you are angry because of misfortune caused by your own mistake. It is best to try to learn from your experiences and avoid making the same mistakes again.

Reduce tension by finding time for some physical activity. Go for a brisk walk, play a hard game of tennis with a friend, work in the garden, or clean the house.

             Reduce your stress level. Learn some stress management methods, such as relaxation and deep-breathing exercises. Try to find ways of doing more of the things you enjoy.

             Learn to meditate. When you are alone, practice withdrawing your thoughts from day-to-day concerns. This may make you more able to do the same when you find yourself getting angry.

Learn to laugh at yourself. If you can learn to see the silly side of things, you can laugh instead of lashing out.

             Learn to trust the abilities of others. Some of your anger may be coming from a lack of faith in the capabilities of other people.

             Look for professional help. If your problems are serious, you may need the help of a mental health professional, such as a psychiatrist, psychologist or social worker. Your family doctor can help to direct you to these professional people.

Talk to someone you trust (a family member, a close friend or a member of the clergy for your religion) who may be able to see things more clearly than you do.